Hole-y sheets, sandy feet

So tonight, I was making up the bed ...

Why make up a bed at night, you ask, when the imminent undressing of said bed for nightly slumber is only a couple of hours away? Well, the sheets were freshly laundered this afternoon. You see, the imaginary maid just didn't get the sheet washing/remaking of the bed done during the day, so we working folks gotta make do in our off time.

Anyway...

I was making the bed, smoothing the fitted sheet [more like wrestling an elastic alligator] at the foot of the bed on my husband's side when I came across this:

Hole-y fitted sheet!

And that? That ain't cool.

Now I must preface this by saying that hubs told me over the phone this afternoon he had noticed a hole in the sheet at the foot of the bed on his side when he undressed the bed to wash the sheets. He asked if we should use another set of sheets and I said, nah ... I hate it when the sheets don't match and besides, how bad could a little hole be?

[Side note: He washed; I dried. How cute are we?]

This? This is not a "hole." It's a freaking crater. As in moon landing. As in one small step through the material and one giant-ass leap through my household budget for new linens.

And really ... how did he not notice this before today?  He does the laundry; it's his gig. I feel like this 8-inch sinkhole to the mattress cover abyss did not develop between last week and this week.

And really ... what the hell does he do with his feet while he sleeps? He doesn't have talons for toenails. He must be like Tim Robbins in The Shawshank Redemption, just chipping away behind the Raquel Welch poster during his REMs while I'm the (ZzzQuill-addled) warden just figuring it all out.

So I move on to make up my son's bed. Relieved to see sheets are in good-enough shape.

But then there's this:

Tiny tear in comforter that will soon become a gaping hole that threatens to swallow my teenage son whole in his sleep.

Yes, we washed the comforter this evening too. Now I might suspect that my washing machine has developed teeth and is feasting upon our bed linens. But the fact is, we have relatively cheap linens.

Why don't I spend more money on high-quality linens?

Hint.

Another hint. This game is easy, right?

Aside from that, there's also the matter of how I choose to allocate our hard-earned - but rather limited - resources. I'm trying to put money away for a little trip to the beach soon. I want to spend my extra money to sleep a couple of nights on hotel sheets, not home sheets. I want to put my feet in the sand, even if that means my hubs is going to have to put his feet through our bed sheets a few more nights.

It's about priorities. And right now spending quality family time together counts more than spending money on quality thread count.

But it's also about compromise. So this Friday, I will dip into the vacation fun fund and buy some new sheets for our bed. But we'll just stitch that tear in the comforter for now. I'm pretty sure my teenage son won't mind - or notice - and we'll eventually get a duvet cover. On sale. For cheap.

Because my sweetest dreams have nothing to do with the pedigree of the pillowcase.