First day of school

I am not in high school.

Nope. I graduated a long (long) time ago. But boy, have I been nervous about the first day of freshman year ... actually my son's first day of his freshman year.

Intellectually I know there is nothing to worry about: the schedule is set, the fees paid, pens and paper purchased, class picture already taken (they do this at registration - genius!). My son is prepared and looking forward to it.

Me?

I'm a wreck.

Emotionally, I am having a harder-than-expected time with this transition.

Don't get me wrong: I love school. I dig the routine. I like that this year our school system has implemented for the first time a balanced school year, meaning they go back to school earlier, but get two-week breaks in the fall, winter and spring. I'm looking forward to marching band competitions and seeing my kid thrive in the new environment.

Still?

I'm a wreck.

Maybe it's because the first day of Kindergarten seemed like it was yesterday.

And now?

(I take his first day of school pics in the same spot every year)

It all seemed to happen overnight.

But I also think my anxiety stems from the fact that high school is a whole new deal. It's where a whole lot of what makes you a grown-up takes shape. This is no time to back off on the parenting. It's about to get real, folks.

So here is a letter to my son, shared with you with his permission:

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Dear Son -

 

Today is your first day of high school. I have the utmost confidence in your ability to do great things with this opportunity. You totally got this.

 

Time is getting ready to move in fast-forward for all three of us and I want to be sure to get some thoughts, advice and expectations down for you, even though I know you know these things. We've talked about them, but they bear repeating ... in writing.

 

In no particular order:

Your dad and I expect you to follow all the old rules: be kind, be polite, forgive, be patient, be respectful.

Don't ever let another person or group of people determine your self-worth. Stand tall.

You are nice guy and a handsome guy. Girls are going to like you (as we already know). Don't manipulate their attention or feelings to inflate your ego. 

Hold off on swearing as long as you can. It belies your intelligence and becomes a vulgar habit that's a real bitch to kick. Just ask me.

We are not cool parents. Smoking, drinking alcohol and drugs are all illegal. We expect you to comply with that. No exceptions.

With that being said ... don't ever get in the car with someone who has been drinking or doing drugs. Ever. Call us and we will come get you, no matter where you are, no questions asked. Actually scratch that last part: we are going to ask a lot of questions. But you won't get in trouble. Promise.

Your dad and I are going to meet all of your new friends ... and their parents. Even if that horrifies you.

Experience the moment whenever you can. Like I said, time is going to fly, so take it all in.  Really listen to the cheers as you exit the field after a band performance instead of hurrying off; remember a favorite song and what you were doing when you heard it. Stuff like that sticks with you. 

Help others, but remember: you cannot fix people or save them. If a friend is in real trouble, tell your dad. He was a social worker for more than 20 years, and even though he has changed fields, he still knows how to help.

There are times when we are not going to get along. You may be really, genuinely pissed at your dad and me. That's normal and it doesn't mean we don't still love one another ... but be cool about it, young man. Respect.

Have patience with your dad and me. We're going to get things wrong; make mistakes. We might hover too much or put too much responsibility on you. We're figuring it out as we go. We don't expect you to fully understand our perspective until you have kids of your own.

... And for the love of God, make sure that is a a very, very long time from now!

 

Have a great first day of high school and enjoy it!

xoxo - Mom 

 

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