Friendship

"If friends were flowers, I'd pick you." - Albert Camus

I've seen that phrase on coffee mugs, embroidered pillows, greeting cards, plaques, paper weights ... the list goes on. It certainly lends itself to the adornment of gift items and it is difficult to fault savvy marketers who capitalize on an upbeat, appreciative, timeless sentiment.

Though I haven't ever purchased an item with this quotation for a bestie, I can say without hesitation that my many friendships over the years have enriched and enlivened my life.

We tend to compartmentalize our friendships: best friends, work friends, childhood friends, neighborhood friends, school friends, guy friends. Doing so in no way diminishes their importance in our lives; it merely enhances our many facets.

My girlfriends, especially my closest circle of friends, are my support group, my therapists, my secret keepers, and companions. They are a truth-banner-waving focus group for hair styles, fashions and home decor. "Um ... no. Just no. That looks terrible on you," one girlfriend said bluntly in the dressing room when I tried on a poorly executed pair of skinny jeans.

[Note to denim designers: You can call them what you want, but if they come in my size, they are not skinny jeans.]

And while my girlfriends might - upon request - judge my fashion choices, they never judge me as a person. They are my audience for rousing tales and rants. My back-up singers. My diet crashers. My cheering section. They are my taste testers for new recipes, which can be a thankless, gag-inducing job.

They make me feel needed and appreciated in their lives - for carpool, opinions, evening walks, lunch dates, shopping, craft projects, perspective, a hug, a laugh. Their needs are not a burden, but an honor. My life is made more purposeful in giving.

Friendship is essential to our happiness, but we must never forget that it is optional. Like any kinship based on love, trust and respect, it requires give and take; a balance. We've all had those life-sucking relationships, so let me give you permission to put a stake in it: vampires quickly move on to other, more willing, givers. Sincerity is the hallmark of the bond, so if you ain't feelin' it, let go.

And sometimes friendships run their course. They fade because of time, distance, changing interests and shifting priorities. Those lost relationships, however melancholy, are part of the ebb and flow of life.

Some complain the meaning of "friend" has diminished in this Facebook age, when all your contacts are labeled "friends." After all, you can now be "friends" with hundreds - thousands - of people, including that guy you haven't seen since elementary school who is apparently still sporting a mullet (and not ironically), and that bitch who bullied you in middle school ... you know, now she can see how awesome your life is via post after post after post.

Social media hasn't taken anything away from my view of friendship. I readily profess my love and admiration to those I call friend. I offer my heart, my attention and my time to them. In return, they get one of the most sacred gifts I have to give: the unfiltered version of me.

"It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them." - Ralph Waldo Emerson