20 years

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"Grow old along with me! The best is yet to be ..."

That's from the poem Rabbi Ben Ezra by Robert Browning. I had that printed on my wedding program. Today is the 20th anniversary of that wedding. As I mentioned in a previous post, this year is kind of a big deal for us.

And it kind of isn't.

We celebrate a lot of silly, fun things (yes, Christmas in July is one of those things), but we generally don't make a fuss about our wedding anniversary. Usually it's just dinner out and sometimes, it's all three of us, kid included - not even a proper date. He brings me flowers. We exchange cards.

We would just rather hang out together than go to a lot of fuss. We are happy to just be together.

After 20 years, that's pretty good.

In fact, we decided this year we wouldn't even exchange gifts. Hubs would be working in the evening, so there wouldn't even be a date. He'd meet me at my office and we'd have lunch. That would be it.

I assumed he'd bring me flowers - he always does - and so I thought I would break the no-gifts agreement just a little and surprise him with a gesture of some sort. It had to be simple and inexpensive.

Here's what I came up with:

A bucket.

More specifically, a bucket filled with 20 Things I Love About You.

20 Things I Love About You 20th anniversary gift bucket.

Instead of a card, I wrote him a letter, explaining that I loved him in a million ways (true), but that, in observance of our 20th wedding anniversary, I would list only 20. I really thought about who he is and how much I appreciate him - and the things he does for me and for us as a family. And then, I hit the dollar bins and picked up little items he would actually use. I tagged them based on the list and put them all in a bucket (simply because it's another thing he will use).

Here's my list (in no particular order):

• You're a good kisser - Chapstick (he steals mine)
• Your face still lights up when I walk in the room - flashlight
• You wipe my tears - travel pack of tissues for his car
• You always know when the cookies are done - spatula (he never, ever burns cookies)
• You make things brighter - paint brushes
• You're smart - Smarties candies
• You stuck with it, even when we were just scraping by - electrical tape and ice scraper
• Your love keeps me going - batteries (for the flashlight)
• You do your share - cleaning sponge
• You're handy - work gloves
• You sew on my buttons - mini sewing kit
• You're handsome - a hand mirror (he was using what was basically a jagged shard of glass as mirror)
• You're kind to animals - treats for our pets
• You have a nice smile - floss (again, steals mine)
• You're nutty - peanuts
• Your faith holds the family together - Super Glue
• You're level-headed - a level
• You're a good dad - wallet-sized photo of our son and him
• You're sweet - mint M&Ms (his favorite)
• We're a good match - box of matches

You get the idea.

He was genuinely moved by the gesture and just loved the surprise, cracking up at the bucket stuff and the correlation to the list.  He admired my creativity and appreciated the thought, time and effort I put into it. Plus, he really dug all the goodies. (Another level? Yes, please!)

Let's face it, folks: I rock.

He gave me roses, as expected. There were 20 red ones, representing the 20 years of our marriage, plus five white ones for the years we dated. Just gorgeous and they made my office smell incredible.

And then he handed me a simple, dainty diamond anniversary band.

That? Not expected.

So let's recap: 

• He gave me diamonds.
• And I gave him ... a bucket.

Look, marriage is like that: it's give and take - and not always an even give and take. Still, it really is the thought that counts. A thoughtful gesture can let the person we care about know he or she is understood, special and loved.

And another thing about marriage: just when you think you've got a person all figured out, he can surprise you in the biggest way, and make you wonder what other tricks he has up his sleeve.

"The best is yet to be ..."

Indeed.