Distracted drivers

Got into the car this afternoon to head home from the office. Running through the usual pre-commute checklist:

• Seatbelt ... check. 
• Plenty of gas in car ... check. 
• Bladder empty in case there's traffic ... check. 
• Vampire Weekend in CD player ... check. 
• Adjust rearview mirror ... check. 
• Notice dead gnat on lip in reflection of said mirror ... gah! ... check. 

I wonder how long that was there.

Damn you, sticky lip gloss.

The only thing from Victoria's Secret that I can wear also kills bugs.

Hey, at least I discovered the ick on my lip before I hit the road. That would have been a major distraction for this driver and possible hazard for everybody else trying to make it home safely as I scrambled to dig out tissues from the center console to carefully wipe the dead insect off my mouth without smashing it in.

<cringe all over again>

And then wiped my mouth with hand sanitizer that was located a seemingly longer-than-usual stretch across the seat in the glovebox. I got caught by the snap of the seatbelt and hung there for a second before releasing the seatbelt and diving for the glovebox. Pretty sure that second of hang time allowed the dead gnat gut remnants to be effectively absorbed by my body.

Pretty sure.

Side note: hand sanitizer is not intended for your mouth.

<cringe again>

I took care of this unsavory business while the car was still in park. Too often, however, I see other drivers zooming along the roadways living life as though they weren't actually wielding a 3,500-pound death machine. They are distracted: eating, digging in a purse, reading, fidgeting with the radio, gabbing on the cell, reaching front seat to backseat to referee kids, holding a dog, speeding, shaving, applying lipstick, etc.

For example, I saw Miss Lady texting and driving in the lane next to me yesterday morning. On the Interstate. Doing 70+ mph. Next to me. Pretty sure she didn't see me.

And that's scary.

She was immersed in a text-versation, swerving and glancing up briefly, then back to tapping, swerving, glancing. It was obvious what she was doing, so I passed her - using my signal, checking my blindspot, neither honking nor flipping her off as I passed.

Sometimes I am too classy for my own good.

And then there's The Guy - the one with his finger jammed up his nose - who came to a screeching halt at the stoplight.

He's just another distracted dumbass. With a nosebleed.

Don't pick and drive.

I drive 60 miles a day round trip just to work and back, plus all the other hauling of kids, pets, groceries and life that I do outside of the daily work commute. I see a lot of stuff going on while on the road: rage, rudeness, hazards, road kill. I have sat for countless hours in traffic snarls, irritated for the delay and thankful I am not the cause of it.

I also wave to friends as we travel the same roads. I stop behind the school bus as it collects excited little ones in backpacks and then kicks up fallen leaves on the road in front of me as it saunters on toward school. I watch the seasons change like scenes from a movie from one of the best seats in the house.

I do a lot of singing and play steering wheel drums. I try to make the most of my commute time; my alone time. I give myself a pep talk, decompress, plan, daydream, pray, cry. And yet I also try to stay focused and drive safely for the sake of my family and me.

And for you, too ... 

... just in case you are in the lane next to me.